Here's a roundup of some of our tweets from 2013. Follow us on Twitter for more brilliance in 2014.
Ballcock: A ballcock (also balltap) is a mechanism or machine for filling water tanks, such as those found in flush toilets.
Don't sleep with a drip, call your plumber...
We enjoy approximately 98% of the people we work with.
Cheryl Tunt and Salvador Dali both had an Ocelot named Babou.
The commercial with Shannon Doherty selling online educations is simply depressing.
Imagine expecting the species to last for 10 million more years - as though people were as well-designed as turtles. -Vonnegut
Cinco de Mayo <----- not to be confused with Mexico's Independence Day which is September 16th. Please read more, people.
I wish I could tweet smells.
A plumber walks in to a bar and orders a Pappy Van Winkle 23 neat. The end.
Surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. -Nietzsche
Modern Man as proof of Entropy.
"Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik" by OutKast & Plato's account of "The Apology" by Socrates are the most influential parts of my education.
"There are organizing principles in the universe which we can no more understand than my dog can." -Kurt Vonnegut
Autocorrect changes sump pump to sump pimp.
"Spend my money in the hood, I know it's all good. And you should do the same I told you peep the game." -Too $hort
My klout score increased to "who gives a shit" this week.
YOLO and KARMA are mutually exclusive. *brought to you by the dictionary*
@hope_plumbing: <----- more virile than viral.
Does the NSA still read tweets when the government shuts down?
I love bad ditches, that's my plumbin' problem. And yeah I like to plumb, I got a plumbin' problem.
Customer: my 15 yr. old water heater is leaking. How could this happen? Me: are you familiar with the 2nd law of thermodynamics or entropy?
Look, just understand that I'm on a roll like Cottonelle, I was made for all of this shit. -Drake
That was pompous, even for me.
If having a bad ditch was a crime, I'd be arrested.
Anyone who says that content is king has never had any cash.
"I'll be there in 10 minutes" is a euphemism for "I left late because I don't give a shit and I'll probably be there in half an hour."
"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge." -Mark Twain
I am bigger in person.
@hope_plumbing: <---- wishes everyone was above average but acknowledges basic principles of mathematics.
I wonder if there is a correlation among the % you tip your server and your political views.
@roggyie: Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans
'Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
My advice: follow @GSElevator and every single person he follows.
REMINDER: we like totally fix plumbing things.
Cited by Forbes in this article: http://www.forbes.com/sites/ruchikatulshyan/2013/12/09/goldman-sachs-tweeter/ ...
Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe Rain may fall and wind may blow... -J.R.R. Tolkien http://bit.ly/1j9VjzA
Let me be clear: ereht era on gnikcuf srewsna.
Get Serviced Locally
King Friday is my spirit animal.
We'll fix the shit out of your toilet.
Someone define local.
We sell crack.
Goodnight, and good luck. -Edward R. Murrow